If you’ve tuned in to my pregnancy woes, you’ll know that we spent a lot of time praying against the doctor’s diagnosis of down syndrome and a heart defect for my beautiful baby girl. 

Just a few Sundays ago, a group of amazing women even joined DeeDee and I in a time of prayer for this baby girl. 

It’s crazy to think it’s only been a handful of days since I had her, but the prayers were not answered by way of complete healing. She popped out with downs and that horrible heart defect that makes my own heart lurch almost every second of the day. I don’t sleep, not because she’s up all the time like most newborns, but because she stops breathing at a moment's notice. 

When things don’t work out the way we expect, it's easy to feel like God doesn’t listen to our prayers. I know that before I walked to the operating room for her delivery I was still praying and demanding my own way for her. I felt that I knew what was best for her, and that was a completely healed baby.

Even though my prayers were not answered the way I expected, I realized: my baby didn’t go to the nicu like most babies with her diagnosis. She didn’t have trouble latching, sucking, or eating and because of that she was back to her birth weight within her first week of life. She’s happy and cuddly and loving and beautiful. 

She's absolutely perfect. She's exactly how God intended her. 

But in my distress I cried out to the Lord; yes, I prayed to my God for help. He heard me from his sanctuary; my cry to him reached his ears. (Psalm 18:6 CSB)

There are two main parts to this verse, the crying out, and God‘s response.

There are so many places in the Bible that show us the promises that God hears our prayers, from Old Testament examples (if you need a specific one, just read the book of Ezra)  to the various psalms (Psalm 18 is a good example, but really any of David’s psalms work too) that speak to it. Jesus even promises that God listens to us. (John 5:14-15)

We can go to God, angry and devastated and voice out our frustrations and hurt. We are allowed to do that! Some of the prayers that I had during my pregnancy were things I’d be too embarrassed to admit out loud, but God welcomes our true feelings.

We can even tell God exactly how we want things to play out. I prayed several times for all of these things to be taken away from my baby. God wants to hear our specific requests as well.

The thing about this, though, is that we can’t camp out in those feelings or demands. We can give them to God like a penny in a fountain, but we have to recognize that He alone knows how everything will play out. And the way that everything will play out is perfect to His plan.

Who are we to demand our way over His? Who are we to believe that we know better than the one who knows all?

The second part of this verse is so much more special now because we have the Holy Spirit.

And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will. (Romans 8:26-27 CSB)

God isn’t in a temple that we have to travel to, the Holy Spirit instead intercedes for us. We can go to Him from the floor beside our bed, the altar in our sanctuary, our car on the way to work, or even the shower! We have someone who not only goes to God on our behalf, but it has the ability to change our view on the circumstances.

So, when God answers our prayer, but not exactly how we wanted Him to, the Holy Spirit can guide us in finding peace with our circumstances. 

A word of caution to summarize this entire post: don’t be so focused on God working the way you want Him to, that you miss the incredible things He’s doing in your circumstances as it is. My baby isn’t exactly how I wanted her to be, but I couldn’t imagine her any different now. And while I would still take this from her in a heartbeat, I know that God will do miraculous things through this circumstance. Do you?