For my first job as an official adult, I started working at a job in a town I wasn’t very familiar with. And by not familiar, I mean I never went there. I knew exactly one way to get from my apartment to the office, and it was dictated to me by my husband before my first interview.

“Go down this road until you see a school, hang a right and follow that to a red light. Turn left at the light and the office is on the right.” 

And that’s how I went. Every. Single. Day. 

But let me tell you something, hanging that right by the school? Horrible. It was horrible in the morning, awful at lunch time, and down right dreadful at five when I left. 

I dreaded driving past the school. The cops were always out, stopping people on the side of the road, completely in the way. Parents backed up the road trying to turn in and grab their kids. If my trip was thirty minutes, at least fifteen were in front of that school.

I would end up in the worst mood possible by the time I got past it.

One day, I was venting about it to my husband and he asked the simplest question: Why don’t you re-route your trip?

Re-route? That was an option??

Sure enough, I found another way to the office that bypassed the school completely. It was longer, but I was in a far better mood each and every day! It just took a little adjusting.

Have you ever felt stuck in a rut with your emotions? Feeling frustrated, or guilty, or hurt day in and day out? You know it’s not a great place to camp out mentally, but what can you do?

Negative thoughts about others

Finally brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is honorable,whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable—if there is any moral excellence and if there is anything praiseworthy—dwell on these things. Philippians 4:8 CSB

So, how do we battle negative thoughts? By re-routing our thought process. It might take a little longer, but extra time spent will always be better than drowning in negativity.

The thing I have to remind myself is that my thoughts are my own. They aren’t someone else's, and they definitely aren’t my boss. I dictate what thoughts get to run rampant in my mind, and which get shoved in the “shred” pile. I decide where my thoughts go.

The same goes for you, my dear reader.

Paul tells us that we should focus on the good things, not the bad things. To turn any bad thought towards a good one.

I have been blessed with an incredible preschool aged boy that I love with all of my heart. He’s usually pretty well behaved, with more energy than anyone knows what to do with (himself included). Because of this, it’s easier to remind myself “he doesn’t usually act this way, something must be up.”

When we start focusing so deeply on the positives of others, we find ourselves loving them the way Christ loves us. And that makes it easier to defend against those negative thoughts!

A woman I know can be incredibly negative to the point of vitriol towards people. It makes it hard to want to be around her. But she also drops everything without hesitation to help my kids. That makes it much easier to think “Okay, those words hurt my feelings, but I know that she loves me and my family deeply.”

Sometimes we have to dig deeper than others, but everyone has something we can focus on in place of those negative thoughts. And the more frequently we do that, the easier it is for our brains to jump past the negative thoughts and to the positive.

In the same vein, you too, are an incredible daughter of our God. Remind yourself of this when those negative thoughts hit.

Negative thoughts about ourselves

I’m talking about my son a lot in this post but here’s another story! My parents made an atrociously lime green sand box for him months ago. When they ask him if he likes it, he says that he does, but he wishes it was red instead of green.

I know it breaks their hearts, even though that isn’t intentional.

I will praise you because I have been remarkably and wondrously made. Your works are wondrous, and I know this very well. (Psalm 139:14 CSB)

We are made by God. He didn’t just let us happen, he played an active part in it. 

Those negative thoughts you get hit with about yourself? They’re heartbreaking to the One who made you.

You are not the lies that the world wants you to believe. You are not the mean things others/yourself say. You are a daughter of the most high God and should respond to slander in the same way: by remembering who made you.

Negative thoughts are going to follow us everywhere we go. From getting cut off in traffic, to wondering if those things we heard about ourselves are true, it’s easy to get bogged down in the bad feelings. But, as long as we don’t camp out there, we can get through it! We can rely on God and the truths we know through Him!

These verses remind us where to center our thoughts, but don’t forget the very first step in any mental game on this earth: praying! Nothing can fix a situation faster than lifting it to God!