Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-Control
Fruits of the Spirit Part 3
Today we will discuss the final three fruits of the Spirit as given to us in Galatians 5. As previously mentioned, these characteristics are not a result of our own effort but as an outpouring of the Holy Spirit at work within us.
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. The law is not against such things. Galatians 5:22-23 CSB
Faithfulness
As with some of the other Fruits of the Spirit, faithfulness is also an attribute of God. God is faithful to us. When we say that God is faithful, we mean that He is dedicated to His plan and to His love. He doesn’t change His mind or His plan of salvation for us.
God’s faithfulness is praised throughout the book of Psalms repeatedly. If the Psalmist thought it necessary to reiterate and rejoice the Lord’s constant faithfulness, then we should obviously use that model in our own times of praise.
For the Lord is good, and his faithful love endures forever; his faithfulness, through all generations. Psalm 100:5 CSB
We also see a beautiful picture of His faithfulness in the book of Hosea. In this book we see a living metaphor of faithfulness in the image of Hosea and his promiscuous wife, Gomer. The faithfulness of Hosea to a promiscuous spouse represents God’s faithfulness to an idolatrous people, as the people chose time and time again to worship things and people other than God. Just as Hosea (by God’s command) didn’t give up on Gomer and continued to rescue her from herself, God doesn’t give up on His people and He continues to rescue us from ourselves.
So how do we express this characteristic? We consistently put God first. We make Him our priority, with our time, with our money, with our resources, and with our energy. We are faithful to God by trusting in Him only. We seek His opinion first, before going to trusted friends. We seek to glorify Him above ourselves. Is it easy? Nope. That is why this fruit of the Spirit is from God and not from us.
Gentleness
In this verse, the word gentleness is also translated often as meekness. It is not just something we do, but it is a part of our disposition and personality.
God shows gentleness with us in many ways. My favorite is how He made a way for us to be with Him forever, even though we deserve death and punishment. God’s gentleness results in His grace and mercy being displayed for us day after day.
When I hear the word gentle, the image in my mind goes to what you tell a child when they are holding a small pet for the first time. “Be gentle.” But it is so much more than not being too rough with a newborn kitten. Gentleness is giving grace and consideration with every action we take.
For example: When I’m in traffic (which is becoming more insane where we live due to the crazy amount of people moving to our area) and someone cuts me off, my immediate response is to repeat that action to them. But this gentleness from the Spirit tells me that I should not act harshly but instead show grace with my words and actions. I should consider that it might have been an accident that the other driver cut me off. Or they were in a hurry due to an emergency. I should give them the benefit of the doubt.
When we seek to be gentle in Spirit, we should be thinking of how our words and actions might affect someone else before we say and do things. This is especially difficult in times of stress or high emotions, which again proves that it is a result of the Holy Spirit and not of us.
Self-control
So I saw this word defined as “the virtue of one who masters his desires and passions, especially his sensual appetites.” Yikes! So let’s talk about this one.
First, we know God is perfect and has no temptations or struggles so this characteristic isn’t really applicable to him.
But for me? Yeah, this is hard. I struggle with it for sure, especially with food because ya girl LOVES food. With self-control, we recognize that our desires, passions, and appetites are not always godly or bringing us closer in relationship with Him. (Recognition is always a good first step!) Then we purposefully choose to not let those desires, passions, and appetites control us. By the Spirit that lives inside us, we do not have to give into temptations and sin.
For example: When I see that pan of freshly made brownies, my desire is to eat them until I make myself sick. But self-control says that giving into that desire is sinful. Self-control says that one small brownie is more than enough. But my heart says after one small brownie, I want more; my sweet tooth was not satisfied. Self-control says it’s not about me or my sweet tooth or what I want, life is about glorifying God, not self.
What are some ways that we can strengthen this characteristic? We can start by taking a self-inventory. Consider what temptations, desires, passions, appetites generally cause you to stumble. Thinking through these temptations beforehand allows you to recognize them and admit them. Then set guardrails and boundaries. Again we do this BEFORE the temptation occurs. This guardrail will allow us to show godly self-control by helping us not get ourselves in the situation to begin with or to stop it before it overtakes us.
When I was a teenager, (because, you know, raging hormones) something that was told to me was to already have solidified in your mind how far was “too far” with a boy and to think through how to never put yourself in that spot. So, for example, stirring up sexual passions and feelings was way too far for me. A clear boundary put in place was to never be left home alone with a guy and to always keep doors open. If you know your parent is in the next room and can hear everything you say and do, you’re going to be way more careful with your actions.
Another example of a guardrail or boundary would be for people who maybe struggle with viewing inappropriate images or material that stir up those ungodly sexual passions to put filters on their internet so that things aren’t able to pass through or to purposefully not watch shows or buy books and magazines that tempt us to fall into the trap. I believe that this particular sin struggle needs to be more vocalized in the church, especially with the crazy increasing ease and amount of material available for consumption.
For me with my brownie situation, an appropriate boundary would be to not buy supplies to make brownies at home unless it is a special occasion where others will also need to partake in the enjoyment of my dessert.
Another huge step is to have someone help hold you accountable. Accountability makes us very vulnerable, which is why it has to be done with someone you can trust completely. Be honest with them and let them know what you are struggling with and ask them to check in with you on how well you are showing godly self-control. Remember this is not something you need to do all on your own power, but it is an outpouring of the Holy Spirit.
Take some time to think about the 9 Fruits of the Spirit mentioned these past few weeks. If your life doesn’t reflect any of them, maybe consider if you are a devoted disciple of Christ. Which of the three today do you need to ask God to help you express more of?
