God’s Design for Us: Embracing Biblical Roles (part 2)
Today is part two of our mini (two-part) series explaining what God’s design is for us!
Last time we specifically talked about how God's design is perfect, and it remains unchanging and purposeful. God specifically created each and every one of us uniquely but with a way for men and women to work together to glorify Him. He created us all to complement each other in the home, church, and ministry.
God’s Role for Men in the Church
Depending on your church background you may have different thoughts as to who is qualified to be a pastor or deacon in the church. And if you disagree with me on this point, that’s okay- we can still be brothers and sisters in Christ.
Men are called to be spiritual leaders in the church. They should be the ones, if appointed by God, to shepherd the congregation and teach sound doctrine. They are the ones called to be the elders and overseers (which is the same Greek word used for “pastor”). We see this a few times in the New Testament, including in 1 Timothy and in Titus. (Go read 1 Timothy 3:1-7 and Titus 1:6-9 for yourself.) What I notice that is the same about both of these parts of Scripture is the emphasis on integrity, faithfulness, and servant-mindedness. We definitely want the overseer / elder / pastor of our church to exemplify these qualities. The scripture also points out the qualities of self-control, gentleness, humbleness, and good character. I’d venture to say that we want ALL men in our church to show these characteristics, even if they are not in a leadership role.
God’s Role for Women in the Church
If pastors can only be men, where does that leave us ladies? Are we only to sit, be quiet, and listen in the church?
Let’s look back at the books of 1 Timothy and Titus to see what Paul had to say about women in the church.
In the same way, older women are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not slaves to excessive drinking. They are to teach what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands and to love their children, to be self-controlled, pure, workers at home, kind, and in submission to their husbands, so that God’s word will not be slandered. Titus 2:3-5 CSB
We see a beautiful concept of mentorship, encouragement, and discipleship in the Titus verses. By encouraging other women to live rightly, Paul says that God’s Word won’t be slandered. How beautiful! So we, as ladies, in the church are called to be encouragers and to live lives of self control and righteousness- both at home and in the church.
Also, the women are to dress themselves in modest clothing, with decency and good sense, not with elaborate hairstyles, gold, pearls, or expensive apparel, but with good works, as is proper for women who profess to worship God. A woman is to learn quietly with full submission. I do not allow a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; instead, she is to remain quiet. 1 Timothy 2:9-12 CSB
We have to compare Scripture to Scripture and take it all. We don’t get to only accept the parts we like- if we were able, I would most definitely ignore the verses from 1 Timothy. On the surface these verses seem harsh and anti-feminism. But is that what Paul wanted us to see?
Looking in Timothy, we see Paul state that women are to “teach what is good” and we know that teaching involves talking, which is contrary to what he says in 1 Timothy, right? No, they aren’t contradictory.
Understanding the context of the church in which Paul is speaking helps clarify a few things about these commands. The Greco-Roman world had some cultural trends that were different from traditional God-fearing traditions. One of which was a bit of feminism- women trying to cause conflict by speaking in contradiction to their husbands and by bringing attention to themselves.
The Gospel is not about US. It’s about Jesus. Paul was speaking against making the Gospel about us and anything else that would have a negative impact on the Kingdom. When you look at the verses in 1 Timothy with this lens, it makes more sense why Paul is encouraging women to be quiet. Also, as a side note, the Greek word used as quiet actually ranges from complete silence to a respectful quietness. So it is possible that Paul was reminding the women to simply be respectful to the teachers and leaders in the church.
We can’t take the surface level view of the 1 Timothy scriptures and also make sense of all of the beautiful ladies mentioned by Paul himself throughout all of his letters. Paul often includes the names of women who have been instrumental in the early church like he does in Romans 16:6:
Greet Mary, who has worked very hard for you. Romans 16:6 CSB
If Paul took the time to show appreciation to women who led, taught, and showed Godly fruits, then we can be sure that he knew women played a vital role in the church.
The Beauty of Complementary Roles
So how are we to view men and women’s roles in the church? I would argue that as believers, we are shown throughout scripture the view of complementarianism- that men and women hold complementary roles and are partners in ministry. Here is a great article from the Gospel Coalition that also explains this concept.
While we don’t see any Bible verses using this wording, we can rest assured that scripture is giving us this view. Adam and Eve were created to work together, not against, each other. They were designed to complement each other. Likewise a husband and wife should complement each other. And no, I’m not talking about telling each other how pretty they are, that would be a compliment. Complement is to add to something to make it complete or perfect. Where one partner struggles, the other partner flourishes so that together they are able to succeed.
This concept allows both men and women to work together in harmony within the church, not be in competition. We know from another of Paul’s writings, in 1 Corinthians, that each part of the church body is vital to make the entire church function well. We see this with Adam and Eve and with Priscilla and Aquila (Acts 18). Hopefully you see this concept played out in your own church, too.
Practical Ways to Embrace God’s Design Today
Okay, so now that we have all this info downloaded into our brains, what are some practical ways to live like God has designed us within our roles in the church?
Serve together! Men and women can serve together in mission work, hospitality, or other service manners.
Support one another! While I (as a woman) am not qualified to be a pastor or overseer, I am fully qualified and equipped (with the Holy Spirit) to encourage the men in those roles. I can be respectful and pray for them. Maybe send a card or text to someone of the opposite gender who you see following God’s design.
Have mutual respect! We are called to be one body of believers- this means we have to be unified. We’ve written many times about unity and it’s absolutely a challenge at times. But there is no place for competition in the church. NONE. We should always be seeking to work together, build up, encourage, and respect each other- men and women!
Grow! Men, step up as leaders- both in your household and in the church. Be someone younger boys can look up to and want to be like. Women, step up to mentor and encourage others- both in your household and in the church. Be someone younger girls can look up to and what to be like.
Be intentional! Yes, sleeping in on Sundays is nice. But being involved in your local church is much more rewarding in the long term. Be intentional with your time, but also with your mental energy. If your mental energy is nonexistent by 5 PM, make time to be with God and in His Word before then.
God created you to be you, whether you are a man or woman. That is who God wanted you to be. He created you to play a specific role both in your home and in the local church. We are not created for isolation. When we step up, embrace, and live out the design and roles that God has called us to, then we are truly glorifying Him. And we are, by proxy, strengthening the body of Christ.
