Turning Setbacks into Opportunities for Spiritual Growth

How many of you have had some kind of setback in your life? Some kind of job loss, broken relationship, or personal disappointment that leads to discouragement. I think it’s pretty safe to say that we all have!

Years ago as I was in my last semester college, I had what could easily have been considered a setback. Because I was majoring in Elementary Education, my final semester consisted of a full time internship at a local elementary school. 

Keep in mind that it had been about three and half years since my mom had died and while I had grieved, I was still really struggling with the loss and emptiness she left. I had begun my college experience with the desire to just be a teenager / young adult and live for myself. I didn’t want to have to be responsible for those around me anymore- I had done enough of that throughout my high school years caring for my sick mom. I had faith that God was going to heal my mom physically once I was in college so that I could live the “happily ever after” like everyone around me seemed to. 

That didn’t happen and my mom passed away three weeks after I started college. The loss wrecked me in many ways. But the determination to pretend to live for me and for the moment won out and I acted like I assumed a typical college-aged young adult would act, at least only Monday-Friday. On the weekends I went home and was the true dutiful daughter taking care of the house for my dad and helping him keep things going. I shoved a lot of my feelings and grief deeper and deeper as I continued to play the many roles I felt I had to.

Fast forward to my final semester, during my internship - the time that all of my college career had amounted to. I loved the teacher I was placed with. Loved getting to know the students. Everything was exciting and it was like my dream of being a teacher was finally within reach. 

This same time my best friend from high school was getting married. Wanting to be the best kind of friend I could, I sought to play the role of dependable, reliable, yet fun bridesmaid. I was able to get time away from my internship to travel to the wedding location with her other bridesmaids. 

Honestly, I’m not sure what exactly transpired inside my body during that time. All I know is that everything fell apart. I woke up during the middle of the night right before the wedding with the unmistakable feeling that I was dying. Something was wrong, but I didn’t know what. I was terrified to wake up anyone or be an inconvenience. But the more I laid in bed trying to alleviate my feelings, the worse I felt. 

I ended up waking one of the other girls and she helped me book and take an uber to a local emergency room, outside Chicago, in January. (Pretty sure this made all my fears and anxieties so much worse, lol.) 

Long story short, the doctors decided I had a UTI and released me. After returning to the hotel via another uber (two ubers in one day from someone who had never used them before!!), I didn’t feel any better. I knew I would be making an unforgivable choice by missing my friend’s wedding, but I still felt as if I were going to go to sleep in that hotel room and just not wake up. 

I returned to the ER, still concerned that my heart was beating out of my chest. They ran scans, checked for blood clots, and gave me fluids. Told me to follow up with my doctor upon my return home. So now, on top of feeling physically like I was dying, I was emotionally so distraught that I had missed my friend’s wedding and I knew she was upset about that. In fact, everyone was upset with me- the other bridesmaids, the family. I was also so upset that I was all alone in a strange place and couldn’t rely on myself to get home. Let’s just say it was rough! 

I made it home the next day and followed up with my doctor soon thereafter. And while she allowed me to discover what had actually been going on inside my body- the answer didn’t give me any peace. It took me years to come to terms with it actually. 

My body had been betraying me. I was having panic attacks. Having repressed my grief for so long and tried so hard to be what I thought I was supposed to be for everyone around me, I actually developed a mental disorder. 

But I knew about anxiety- it meant your faith in Jesus wasn’t strong enough, right? It meant that I just needed to pray more and read my Bible more. 

But in the middle of a panic attack, when my heart was beating 160 bpm, my lungs burned, my eyes blurred, I became light headed and queasy, and the rest of my body wouldn’t cooperate with what my mind was telling it to do- in the middle of these crippling moments all I could do was pray. Pray hard and beg God to intervene. I would repeat scripture and cry. 

These panic attacks were happening so often. I mean like 7 or 8 a day, and sometimes at night. They left me physically exhausted and emotionally vulnerable. 

Should I mention that at this time my church, the only church I ever called home, was going through a terrible split? Not only was my body failing me, I had nowhere to run to spiritually. 

I seriously thought my life was over. 

I couldn’t return to my internship having panic attacks like this. 

Which means I couldn’t graduate college.

I considered just dropping out. Going on disability. And just suffering the effects of panic attacks, anxiety, and depression - alone - until I died. 

So, yeah, just your average life setback. 

Obviously I tell this story of a setback on the other side, 8ish years later. The truth remains that we all know, far too well, that setbacks are inevitable. They will happen, whether we are ready or not. But our response to them can either strengthen our faith or stall our faith. The choice is up to us.

God often uses our hardest seasons to grow us, refine us, and draw us closer to Him.

Shift Your Perspective: God is at Work in the Waiting

In the moments where it feels like God has stepped back, He is still with you. When I felt utterly alone in the ER of an unknown city - God was still there. When I just knew my dream of teaching was over - God was still there. 

Sometimes our lives feel out of control and like everything we think we have planned and know the outcome for has now vanished. Even in these moments, or should I say especially in these moments, God is sovereign and God is good. 

Back in Genesis, we are introduced to a man who suffered so many trials and setbacks in his life- Joseph. Joseph had a rough time, for sure- he was sold by his brothers into slavery, was falsely imprisoned, and then ended up being second in command to the Egyptian pharaoh. Hindsight is 20/20, so we, as readers, have the privilege of seeing all of Joseph’s struggles and how God brought him through time and time again. Near the end of Joseph’s life, he was able to look at his family, whom he offered forgiveness and redemption, and said: 

You planned evil against me; God planned it for good to bring about the present result—the survival of many people. Genesis 50:20 CSB

Look at the ever-common verse from Romans 8:28: 

We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God, who are called according to his purpose. 

God will work out all things according to HIS purpose. Not according to my purpose or my desires. And we know from elsewhere in Scripture that His purpose is for us to know Him, be in relationship with Him, and glorify Him forever. 

Sure, health, wealth, and happiness sound like great purposes to me- but they are inconsequential in the long run. And sometimes God uses the setbacks to MY purposes to sustain and pursue HIS purpose of a life glorifying to Him. 

Oh how often do we (okay for sure this is me) ask God “why?” or “why me?” When the setbacks hit, the tears flow, and the unknown is permeable, we want answers. We want to blame God or at least know there is an upside to the heartache. Another one of my favorite statements to use during these times is “it’s just not fair.” 

True, it’s not fair- by human calculations. Sure, we desire to know the outcome or big picture. But maybe, if God’s revealed purpose for my life is to bring me closer to Him, make me more like Jesus, and lead me to glorify Him in all things- then that may be the reason or desired outcome of every setback. 

Strengthen Your Faith Through the Struggle

Consider it a great joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you experience various trials, because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its full effect, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing. James 1:2-4 CSB

Trials, setbacks, challenges- they produce endurance, faith, trust, and perseverance. If life were all easy peasy, then how could we appreciate the easy peasy? 

In those moments of struggle, lean into God. Express your thoughts and feelings because God does care for you. Repeat His promises to your heart. Connect with trusted believers in your own biblical community who can walk alongside you, pray with you, strengthen you, and encourage you to hold on to the purpose God has for you.

Remember that spiritual growth rarely happens on the mountaintop—it’s cultivated in the valleys.

Step Forward with Renewed Purpose

For our momentary light affliction is producing for us an absolutely incomparable eternal weight of glory. So we do not focus on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:17-18 CSB

This world is not our home. The stuff we have here will decay and disappear. The relationship we have with our Almighty Father will remain for eternity. Every time we choose to trust God with our struggles and continue with faith that His purpose will succeed, we are able to grow closer to who God has designed us to be. 

Some setbacks feel like seasons of suffering or trials, but keep in mind that it is never wasted time. God uses everything for His ultimate glory. 

Surprise, surprise. My life was not over back then. It’s not over now. God has a plan for my life, and He has a plan for your life. Medication helped calm my brain and body for God to do the work needed in my heart and soul. I am forever grateful for the fact that God never abandoned me. I may have not always felt like He was listening or with me, but He was. He heard every cry and every despair. 

And God drew me closer to Him through that setback. I had literally nothing left to rely on but God. But with God, I had the best thing. Remember that setbacks are not the end of the story. Boy do they feel that way though! Instead they are a beginning to a deeper relationship with God, if we let them be.

Lean into God, trusting that He is using every trial to shape you into who He created you to be.