Single as a Pringle

In case you haven’t picked up on it—I’m not married. “Single as a pringle,” as some might say. (Wait, maybe it’s just me that says that.)

Why? How? Is that right or wrong? How can we continue to trust God during a season of singleness?

A Look at the Numbers

In 2022, Pew Research shared that about 30% of Americans identify as single. Specifically, 28% of women in the U.S. say they’re single. When you break it down: 34% of women ages 18–29, 17% of those 30–49, 30% of women ages 50–64, and 39% of those 65 and up are single.

Another study I found explored the relationship between singleness and religion. In short, as singleness in America has risen, church attendance and religious affiliation have declined. Now, don’t misunderstand—just because two trends happen together doesn’t mean one causes the other. (Shoutout to my long-ago stats class for the “correlation isn’t causation” reminder.)

Still, it raises interesting questions. Does singleness impact spiritual life? Or vice versa? There’s no clear formula, but it’s worth exploring.

Why Be Single?

The first thing I want you to know is this: you are a unique creation of God. There has never been, and never will be, another you. We are called to be faithful to Christ in whatever life stage we’re in—married or single.

For some of us, singleness may be temporary. For others, it may be long-term—or even lifelong. And guess what? That’s okay. Being single doesn’t mean you’re “unmarried” in the sense of being incomplete. A single life can be full, faithful, and deeply meaningful.

People are single for a variety of reasons:

• The Waiting Game: Some are waiting for the right partner and believe they’re in a “not yet married” phase. But don’t put your life on hold waiting—live fully now.

• Single Again: Others become single due to divorce or the loss of a spouse. Many are also single parents navigating life with resilience and grace.

• Single by Choice: Some choose singleness for a season—or forever. They value their independence, focus, or just feel that marriage isn’t right for them right now.

• Single by Calling: Some feel they are called to live for Christ. The Apostle Paul favored singleness for the freedom it gave him to serve God most fully, though he acknowledged that his way would not be the best way for everybody (Matthew 19:10–12, 1 Corinthians 7:7, 32–35).

Why I’m Single

When I was younger, I imagined falling in love in high school or college, having a fairytale wedding, and living happily ever after just like the movies. That didn’t happen.

I’m 30 now, and I’ve had one boyfriend—a short relationship in high school that ended over 13 years ago. At the time, I think I was more in love with the idea of love than the actual relationship. I wanted to feel wanted. I wanted to experience that classic teen romance. And honestly, I’m glad I did—because it taught me some things. It taught me what I want, what I don’t want, and so much more.

Over time, and especially as my relationship with God has deepened, I’ve realized that being single is far better than compromising who I am just to say I’m in a relationship. I’ve had moments when I longed for a partner—especially during hard times, like losing both of my parents. In those seasons, I’ve wished for someone who would walk through grief with me, put my needs first, protect me at all costs. A “person” to lean on. That desire is real, and I honor it. But it doesn’t mean I need to settle.

Trusting God in Singleness

So how do you trust God in this season?

1. Know your boundaries.
This is where listening to the Holy Spirit is essential. For me, I made a commitment as a teenager to wait until marriage for sex. It’s not always popular or easy, but it’s something I believe Scripture calls us to—and I’m not ashamed of that. One piece of advice I often share: decide your boundaries ahead of time. Don’t wait until emotions are high to try to set limits. And remember, no matter your past, God is loving and redeeming. He offers forgiveness and a fresh start.

2. Spend intentional time with God.
Let Him show you who you are—just you. When your identity is rooted in Christ, you’re more equipped to love someone else if and when that time comes. Over the past 13 years, I’ve learned how to be independent. I’ve learned to support myself, emotionally and practically. I’ve grown to love this season. I truly believe God has me here, now, for a reason: so I can focus more on Him, serve others, and grow spiritually.

Singleness gives you the space to mature and understand your own heart. When you're in a relationship, your lives become intertwined. If you don’t have a clear understanding of your values, goals, and dreams beforehand, they can easily get lost or watered down. Being single gives you the chance to become secure in who you are and how you were made.

The Pressure Is Real

One of the hardest parts of being single? The constant commentary.

“So, are you seeing anyone?”
“I know someone perfect for you!”
“We’ve got to find you a man!”
“Do you even want to be married one day?”

I know they mean well, but it gets old. The assumption is that singleness equals waiting for marriage. When I respond with, “Actually, I’m not looking to get married right now,” I’m often met with pity—like something must be wrong with me. But there isn’t. I'm just not following their timeline.

Yes, singleness can be hard—but so can marriage. And just like marriage, singleness can be filled with joy, deep friendships, and meaningful purpose. Singleness is not a holding pattern. It doesn't make you incomplete. It doesn’t make you any less valuable or spiritual than someone who is married.

Finding Contentment

There are two key steps to finding peace in your singleness:

a. Accept that you might be single for the rest of your life.
b. Stop listening to the world, and start listening to God.

I’m genuinely okay with the idea of lifelong singleness. My life has meaning. I get to serve God with freedom and joy. I have strong Christian friendships—like my amazing friend Mel—and I get to experience connection, support, and love in ways that don’t require romantic attachment.

Relationships don’t have to be romantic or sexual to be fulfilling. Some of the best friendships in my life have brought me closer to God, held me accountable, and brought laughter and joy into my daily routine. Different relationships offer different levels of intimacy and trust—and it’s okay to navigate those intentionally.

So What Now?

Here’s my advice:

Seek God first.

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be provided for you. (Matthew 6:33 CSB)

Don’t let anxiety over your relationship status steal your peace. I don’t know if I’ll ever get married. But I do know that if it’s part of God’s plan, it will happen. I don’t have to force it. And I certainly don’t need to worry about it.Instead, I’m choosing to trust. 

Focus your life on Christ and his kingdom. Trust that God will provide as you seek to live God's will. Let everything else find its proper place. Don't go looking for love; rather, look for ways to give God's love to others. From the abundance of love, God will give you the relationships you need. Focusing on His kingdom and how you can be more of service to Him will give you more internal satisfaction than any intimate relationship ever will.

Ask yourself:
Where is God calling me to be His ambassador?
Where can I show His love to others, without looking for love in return?
What gifts and passions has He placed in me?
Where do those gifts meet a need in the world?

Because that’s where God is working. And we should want to be part of it.

You are God’s masterpiece. Whether you're single, married, or somewhere in between—He loves you more than you can imagine. Your life matters. Right now. Just as it is.